CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - President George W. Bush, while trying to freebase cocaine, set the desk he was using on fire and burned his tie off.
"Heh, heh..." said Bush, "I guess I pulled a Richard Pryor."
Reports say that freebasing cocaine was the reason that Bush just sat there in the classroom during the 9/11 attacks instead of excusing himself and making an executive decision.
"Well, when you're stoned out of your gourd, ya' jest don't think too clearly. Hell, if I wuz sober, I probly woulda dun sumthin' presidential. I AM the commander guy, after all."
President Bush was taken to a hospital emergency room and examined for burns, but the only injuries he received were singed hair and singed eyebrows.
"The devil protects his own," laughed Bush.
When asked if this incident would prevent him from freebasing in the future, Bush replied, "Hell no, everyone's entitled to miss a mistake now and then. What strenthens ya' makes ya' weaker."