Written by Buck E Filbert
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Wednesday, 16 May 2007

image for Jerry Falwell Meets His Maker
Jerry Falwell finds out the ultimate truth

Lynchburg Tenn., Liberty University. The Reverend Jerry Falwell was discovered collapsed on the floor at Liberty University today. Attempts to revive the Reverend failed and it is presumed Falwell succumbed to heart failure. Falwell has had a past history of heart related illnesses.

Falwell, noted founder of the Moral Majority and one of the world's first televangelists, spread his word to his followers through televised sermons. Television not only supplied an outlet for Falwell's preaching and political views but the river flowed both ways as his 7 million followers donated generously to his church. At one point his donations topped 130 million a year.

Falwell was no stranger to controversy, through the years his statements ranged from, "I hope Hillary Clinton becomes the Democratic candidate, that would be as good as Satan himself running", to accusing the purple Teletubby, Tinky Winky, of being gay.

When questioned as to what made Tinky Winky gay Falwell replied, He's purple, purple is a gay color, if Tinky Winky wasn't gay he'd be blue.

Among other things Falwell was anti, NAACP, ACLU, Democrat, Gay and Lesbian, Liberal, Freedom of thought, People for the American Way, Pornography, Mormon, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish and pretty much anything not, Jerry Falwell, Baptist.

Falwell sued Hustler for deformation of character over a liquor ad parody depicting Falwell loosing his virginity to his mother in an outhouse. Falwell lost that case but was awarded $200,000 in personal stress over the ad. The award was overturned by the Supreme Court in appeal citing parody is parody and no award is warranted.

After the 9/11 tragedy Falwell came out saying, "liberal Americans were responsible for the attack." He later apologized for that statement under pressure from the Republican party.

Falwell's latest calm is, the Anti Christ is probably alive now, and is a Jew.

This reporter could not sum this up any better than this statement:

Matt Foreman, executive director of National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, extended condolences to those close to Falwell, but added: "Unfortunately, we will always remember him as a founder and leader of America's anti-everybody not me industry, someone who exacerbated the nation's appalling response to the onslaught of the AIDS epidemic, someone who demonized and vilified everyone not of his church for political gain and someone who used religion to divide rather than unite our nation."

Amen.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
5/15/07

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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