Our planet is just five hours away from climate change catastrophe - but can still be saved, according to a new report.
The World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) warns governments that we have until close of business today to "plant the seeds of change" and make positive moves to limit carbon emissions.
The first thing we need to do is turn off every single light on the planet and turn off the televisions as well.
Al Gore is currently flying around the planet in a 737 to make sure that everyone is doing this.
Vladimir Putin, the house elf, says the claims are nonsense and states that Russia will be OK, as it is big enough to look after itself and already has plans to erect a huge bubble dome over the entire Russian Federation of Planets and fly it into a low earth orbit by teatime.
Tony Blair said, "Let Gordon deal with it, if he thinks he can solve the housing crises then he can deal with this!"
President Bush meanwhile has gone back to bed and had declared that he will not come out from under his blanky until the bad things go away. He was reported to have got upset this morning when informed he would have to do without his usual breakfast of chocolate toaster pockets and milk warmed up in the microwave.
Osama Bin Laden declared "this is a victory for all of whoever I am supposed to be representing in the media at the moment, Muslims, Afghanistan, Al Qaeda. I don't give a camel's arse what they hang on me, it doesn't really matter anymore, I'm off out to buy the biggest light bulb I can find and a shed load of baked beans, I'm going to take down the system from within"
The clock IS ticking!