Muhammed Yabba Dabbadu speaking from heaven through an unidentified Muslim Cleric complained bitterly about the lack of virgins he found in heaven after blowing himself up.
"I was promised seven virgins when I arrived in heaven", he said, "And when I got here there were only three virgins for the entire population of holy martyrs".
"To make matters worse", he continued, " Two of them were extremely overweight and the third was very ugly and had bad teeth. It's no wonder they were virgins".
When the dead bomber complained to Allah, Allah apologized, saying that it was very hard to find virgins nowadays.
Dabbadu said he was very skeptical about the whole suicide bomber thing to begin with. He thought it was a stupid idea at first, but the assurance of seven virgins clinched the deal. He was considering a lawsuit, but unfortunately found that there are no lawyers in heaven either.