Written by Sal Manella
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Tuesday, 15 May 2007

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Fed up with comparisons to "W", Hitler comes out of hiding to clear his name

Caretakers at Sunny Acres Nursing Home in Goering, Michigan were surprised to learn that one of their residents, a frail, kindly old man they knew as "Papa Joe" is actually the architect of World War II in Europe and the evil mastermind of the Holocaust, which claimed six million Jewish lives.

"I've got two things to say. Number one, my name is Adolf Hitler, not Papa Joe. Number two, I am sick and tired of all these nitwits going around and comparing George W. Bush to me. Such a comparison is absolutely ridiculous. Granted, I may be one vile evil bastard. I can live with that. But I am not stupid!"

Ever since the end of World War II, conspiracy theories have circulated, claiming that the suicide was a hoax. According to Hitler, after his "suicide", he escaped to Brazil, where he lived in relative obscurity for several years, while undergoing extensive plastic surgery and learning to speak Portugese and English. In 1954, he emigrated to the United States, living first in New York, and finally settling in Goering, Michigan, where he taught History at the local high school, coached little league baseball, and taught Sunday school at a local church.

Sal Manella

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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