Written by Doppelbock
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

image for Moon Stolen by Evil Space Giant
The moon. Being stolen. By a space giant. And, he's evil.

FLAGSTAFF (AP Newsliar) -- The Moon was stolen last night by an evil space giant, officials at the Lowell Observatory confirmed today.

"It just came out of nowhere," says Dr. Ivan Itchianis, the observatory's chief astronomer, who was on duty at the time of the celestial theft. "We had pointed our primary telescope at the moon to perform a quick in-scene calibration, and next thing you know this evil space giant just reaches out and grabs it."

When asked how the observatory determined the space giant was evil, Dr. Itchianis responded: "Hello?!? He Stole. The. Fucking. Moon. That's just evil."

He added, "No more 'hitting your eye like a big pizza pie.' No more 'that's amore'. Not to mention the fact that tides worldwide are now seriously fucked. And oh by the way, expect the earth's axis of rotation to start randomly nutating around every which way from now on, since the moon isn't there to stabilize it anymore. Do you have any idea what this will do to global weather patterns? Not to mention the property values on my Malibu beach house."

Lowell Observatory personnel were able to track the evil space giant as far as Saturn, where it apparently turned the Moon over to a diminutive black alien in a Roman soldier's uniform, who promptly destroyed it with his atomic space modulator. Further geometric analysis by observatory scientists indicate the Moon was obstructing the being's view of Venus.

Make Doppelbock's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 2?

2 6 12 20
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top