LONDON (AP Newsliar) -- Prince Charles says his farts smell royal.
"Not like your garden variety working class farts," he clarifies. "No pungent digestive after-products of pedestrian diet and cheap beer here, boyee. My farts are the end result of centuries of selective noble breeding, fueled by the culinary arts of my personal chef."
"Now Camilla, she's not of royal blood. And you can tell. She can stink up a room, let me tell you," adds the Prince of Wales. "One of her silent-but-deadlies fogged up the windows in the Bentley just this morning. And last month the guard had to evacuate Highgrove, suspecting a chemical munitions attack by terrorists."
"By contrast," he continues, "my mum the Queen passes the most audible of trumpet blasts, but with that characteristic refined bouquet of royalty that really separates us from the unwashed masses. She really puts the wind in Windsor, let me tell you."