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Saturday, 12 May 2007

image for 2,700-year-old fart found in Greece!
Open the freaking window! Someones cut the Feta!

ATHENS, Greece - Archaeologists in Greece have discovered a rare 2,700-year-old fart inside a copper urn from a site where soldiers described in Homer's "Iliad." farted into the ancient Greek equivalent of a milk bottle, to leave for unsuspecting victims.

"This was considered the height of cerebral humor in the day" said chief archeologist Aildigdis Trouantrou "fart gags and knob jokes would have been held in very high regard by the elite, warriors, aristocrats and philosophers".

The best joke of all, according to Professor Trouandtrou, was the one invented by King Midas himself, where he placed the hand of his new wife in a bowl of tepid water as she slept on their wedding night.

The following morning, he had an artist, strategically placed in the bedchamber to capture the embarrassing moment when his fresh bride woke up to her first morning of married life as a Queen, only to find herself in the biggest wet patch this side of the Rubicon. The artist managed to catch the whole thing on the side of an urn, which was presented to the new Queen in front of her entire family on the event of the happy couples' first wedding anniversary.

Other hilarious jokes of the time have been handed down through the centuries and we still practice many of them today.

For instance, the sewing up of someone's trouser legs whilst they sleep, so they fall over when trying to put them on the next morning. This came from the ancient practice of chopping feet off to see the humorous consequences when the hapless victim awoke to find they couldn't stand up. Genius!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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