Written by Doppelbock
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Topics: Star Wars, Tatooine

Monday, 14 May 2007

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Tatooine. Armpit of the galaxy.

TATOOINE (Galactic Press) -- Residents of the remote Outer Rim desert world Tatooine were stunned today by news of a double homicide in the quiet moisture-farming community south of Anchorhead.

Imperial police reported that Owen Lars, 57, and wife Beru, 55, were found dead this afternoon in the burned wreckage of their farming homestead on County Road 32. Foul play is suspected, although investigators did not elaborate. The family's land speeder and two 'droids were noted missing by farm hands following the incident.

Luke Skywalker, 18, newphew of the two victims, is being sought by the police for questioning. Previously the youth has been fined for hunting womp rats out of season, and an outstanding warrant is on file for numerous speeding violations in Anchorage.

"We're all just shocked here," said Deak Groundlubber, part-time mechanic at Fixer's Garage in Toshe Station, known to be frequented by Skywalker. "He was supposed to pick up some power converters today and never showed up. Then we heard on the news his house was torched. I mean, he's strange kid and all, definitely a little off, but none of us ever suspected anything like this."

Skywalker was last seen in the Mos Eisley vicinity in the company of notorious drug runner Han Solo.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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