Written by James Wallin
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Tuesday, 8 May 2007

image for Bush and Prince Phillip tied on points after late-night gaffe fest
Bush pointing at her majesty's nips

George Bush is renowned for his inappropriate comments and embarrassing slips of the tongue, but it appears that he has met his match in visiting dignitary, Prince Phillip. First reports on the outcome of last night's gaffe clash had the president and the prince on level peggings.

Bush had started the day well by inadvertently adding 200 years to the age of Queen Elizabeth II then appearing to mistake her for his mother. However, insiders have revealed that Laura Bush's tight reign on her husband allowed the Duke of Edinburgh to take an early lead. His first point came when he was introduced to Condoleeza Rice, whom he took to be in domestic service at the White House and made muttered comments about being "glad to see this sort of thing still hasn't been abolished over here". He appeared to mock Bush's infamous pretzel incident by asking the president if he wanted his biscuits cut up, and at one point asked for a translator who could speak English and Texan.

Bush made a come back in the late afternoon when he talked about the historical legacy of Britain, with special reference to "Magnum P.I", a contract he seemed to believe had been signed by King John and Tom Selleck to protect the King's moustache. He also made several confusing comments about the Queen's film career, stating that he had enjoyed the last one but was looking forward to seeing her play against type, perhaps as a Bond baddie or in "something with Chevy Chase".

The evening banquet is said to have been a close call, with Bush ordering out to Taco Bell after having trouble with his lobster while Prince Phillip repeatedly referred to the president's chief-of-staff as Snoop-Doggy Rove.

The eventual winner of the contest will go on to meet Silvio Berlusconi in the final.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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