Written by Gareth Carpenter
Print this

Sunday, 25 January 2004

image for Berlusconi's new look down to 'brain growth'
Berlusconi has denied facelift; and we believe him

Italian premier Silvio Berlusconi has dispelled rumours that he has had a facelift by revealing the real reason behind his new good looks.

"The simple truth is that my brain is growing larger and therefore my facial skin has been stretched a bit," he told reporters.

He said that cerebral matter in his cranium was growing at such an exponential rate that his brain was starting to push not only against the back of his eyes but also his cheekbones.

And the Italian prime minister added that the profundity of thought required by an eminent world leader such as himself meant it was "only natural" that his brain should expand.

"I wake up every morning and marvel about the incredible things on my mind," he revealed. "For example, this morning I had to spend a good three hours working out AC Milan's best formation for the upcoming derby with Inter."

Berlusconi also said that persistent financial brain-teasers were challenging his thinking capacity.

"I have thousands of invoices to pay off, ranging from Swiss plastic surgeons who I've never met to crooked judges wanting an advance on their bribes," he said. "It never stops."

Leading brain surgeon Dr Hans Kramer said that while Mr Berlusconi should not worry too much about his brain growth, he would have to have regular check-ups and be more cautious.

"There is a chance he could sneeze violently one day and lose half his brain cells," he warned.

Make Gareth Carpenter's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 3?

8 15 2 4
31 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more