Written by Cal Jennings
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Friday, 4 May 2007

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New FBI Finding - Bush a Corrpt Bastard

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - The FBI searched the offices of four legislators associated with the Corrupt Bastards Club: Stevens, Rep. Pete Kott, R-Eagle River; Sen. John Cowdery, R-Anchorage; and Rep. Vic Kohring, R-Wasilla. They also searched were the offices of Sen. Donald Olson, D-Nome, and Rep. Bruce Weyhrauch, R-Juneau.

A copy of one of the search warrants, obtained by The Assassinated Press, links the investigation to the new production tax law signed last month by Murkowski, the natural gas pipeline draft contract Murkowski, the state's three largest oil companies, and President George W. Bush.

President Bush wasn't suspected until he lifted the ban on drilling in Bristol Bay off the southwest coast of Alaska, one the most important fisheries in America and in the world. His move cleared the way for the U.S. Interior Department to open 5.6 million acres of southwest Alaska to oil and gas exploration over the next five years, completely ignoring environmentalists and the environment itself.

"When Bush lifted the ban, that was a big score for us," the Corrupt Bastards leader was overheard saying.

President Bush ordered all findings by the FBI to be confiscated and classified as Top Secret to protect the security of America in this time of war. The FBI agents were then labeled "unlawful enemy combatants" and sent to Guantanamo Bay to be tortured.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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