Written by Mathmission
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Thursday, 3 May 2007

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Easter Island, Chili - After decades of research, scientists believe they have decoded the hidden meaning behind the large stone head statues located on Easter Island, Chili. A scroll was discovered on the island that gave indisputable proof of the meaning behind the heads.

Pollok Nelson, a geologist and anthropologist, discovered a small chamber just south of a large cluster of Moai. The chamber had been painted with decorative art dating back to the same time period of the statues. At the deepest point, scientists found an 8000 year old box containing scrolls on animal skin depicting the statues.

"It's a big joke, believe it or else," says Nelson. "The scrolls revealed the island inhabitants dancing and pointing at other humans tied up. Their faces were enlarged and…well, ridiculous. The scrolls clearly show local inhabitants laughing at those tied up. Our best guess indicates that these statues were nothing more than an insult to some other regional culture."

Though further study is underway, the historical international community has commended the work of Nelson and his crew. "It's just another one of the world's greatest mysteries, solved," says enthusiast Heather Carren. "We're working down the list of human events we don't yet understand, and finally have the ability to check one off our list."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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