CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - The entire world is trembling. Everyone knows the end of the world is neigh. Today in Washington, D.C. a politician actually made an intelligent statement.
Senator Mike Gravel made the statement, "We are mischaracterizing terrorism. Terrorism has been with civilization from the beginning. And it will be there to the end. We're going to be as successful fighting terrorism as we are fighting drugs with a war. It doesn't work. What you have to do is to begin to change the whole foreign policy."
As soon as he made the statement, panic spread like wildfire. People were running over each other in the streets. Because of satellite television transmissions, the whole world quickly heard the news. People were jumping off the Eiffel Tower in Paris and the Great Pyramid in Egypt. Mass hysteria is everywhere.
A reporter stopped one man in the street, "I never thought I'd see a day in my lifetime when a politician actually made a statement that made sense. This is HORRifying! This could be the start of Armageddon!" The man then ran on his way, then jumped off the Grand Canyon.
The reporter commented, "I must admit, it's pretty bad, but it could have been worse if President Bush had made a complete sentence."