Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Wednesday, 2 May 2007

image for Al Qaeda and Sunni into Row over Global Warming
Sedan or subcompact? Al Qaeda and Sunni have heated debate over Al Gore's, An Inconvenient Truth, post Kyoto Protocol

Baghdad, Iraq - Factional fighting broke out between Al Qaeda terrorists and Sunni militants resulting in the possible death of Al Qaeda leader, Adu Ayyub al-Masri, today; all in an apparent dispute over global warming, claim Sunni tribal fighters.

"During our last meeting," explained a Sunni spokesman. "One of our suicide car bombers brought us a copy of Al Gore's DVD, An Inconvenient Truth, and it got us thinking, maybe we could do something to help stop global warming too."

According to the Sunni spokesmen, an argument quickly ensued over what type of automobiles should be used in car bombings, subcompacts or sedans.

"Al Qaeda wanted to stick with sedans for head and legroom and cup holders," confirmed a Sunni insurgent. "While we wanted to switch over to subcompacts in favor of mileage and reduced carbon dioxide emissions. When some guy in the back yells out, 'What about an Escalade?' That's when all hell broke loose."

"You know, it probably would have been fine," said the Sunni spokesmen, reflecting on the bloodbath aftermath. "We were that close to an agreement [gesturing with his thumb and index finger], if it wasn't for that smart ass in the back. There's one in every crowd, I tell you. And talk about an extremist -- as if he'd be able to get into paradise behind the wheel of that rural assault vehicle. I think he was some Sheik's son. Rich kids. They're so materialistic -- always thinking of themselves, right up to the very end. No body likes them."

U.S. officials have been unable to confirm the reported death of Adu Ayyub al-Masri, however, they were able to confirm Al Gore's DVD, An Inconvenient Truth, is causing the Bush Administration problems all over the world.

"More so than the Kyoto Protocol ever did," said an administration official.

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