News of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's split has apparently caused a massive temporal anomaly in Brazil, causing near-deaths, bruises and some conversions to Scientology.
The split, heralded today in four hundred and fifty thousand headlines across the world, has apparently caused a massive amount of damage. Reports from Spoof Reporters based in Brazil are said to be in a stable condition but awaiting confirmation of the news that disaster has struck the country.
"We've not actually seen any evidence of damage. Or heard anything about it. But we are assuming it's happened simply because everyone is talking about their split as though it's the worst disaster to hit the world since...well, since Bush, I guess."
Until we receive further confirmation, we'd just like to stress again that the split has clearly causes massive physical damage to some part of the world due to the number of people reporting this otherwise useless and uninteresting story.