Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Jesus

Saturday, 28 April 2007

image for Jesus was 'robot from the future', claim archaeologists
An artist's impression of Jesus

Archaeologists from the University of Alabama have found amazing new evidence about the life of Jesus - or the JESUS 9000 as it is now known.

Dr Percy Pecker said: "We have found a tomb containing unusual electronics and metal parts. JESUS is actually an acronym, it stands for Jesus Electronic Stalinist Utilization System. A future communist state will build this robot and send it back in time to kill the real Jesus and replace him.

"This explains a number of the supposed miracles of Jesus, such as rising from the dead, walking on water, and making toast."

Making toast?

"It appears that Jesus had a toaster built into his derriere. He could also fire lasers from his eyes and could do a very good robot dance."

The Pope has refused to comment on the new findings, but is rumoured to be working on a 'Robo-Pope' of his own to send back in time to stop the JESUS 9000 from killing the real Jesus.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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