Written by Martin Gooseflesh
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Friday, 27 April 2007

image for No more Limbo For The Pope
Just a figment of the imagination

Pope Benedict XVI has brought to an end the 800 year old concept of limbo, following a theological study, the Vatican has announced.

Roman Catholic teaching will no longer include reference to the dexterous Caribbean dance, in which dancers compete to lean backwards and dance under a horizontal stick without touching it or falling on the floor. It is understood that Pope Benedict has disliked this particular form of dance ever since he went on holiday to Trinidad in 1976 and was publicly humiliated in a limbo competition on the beach.

A spokesman, who asked to remain nameless, said:

The then Father and Professor Ratzinger was taking part in the competition and fell over in the sand at his first attempt, while the stick was still quite high. All the other holiday makers laughed at him and the humiliation left a deep scar in his psyche."

In a statement the Pope said there were "serious" grounds to believe that limbo was not real and that God did not approve of the concept.

This means that Catholics will no longer be able to accept or take part in this activity and must ignore any example of it. In effect this could spell the actual end of the dance the world over as the vast majority of limbo practitioners are devout Roman Catholics.

Limbo dancer, Otis Colliard said:

"If God doesn't like it then I'll just have to find something else to do. Caribbean beach parties will look very different from now on."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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