Written by Cal Jennings
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Friday, 27 April 2007

image for The Republic of Texas Secedes from the Union
Bush announces Texas secession

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The Great Republic of Texas - Today, President Bush announced that he was having Texas secede from the Union. He said that he wanted to be sure that he had a place to rule if he decides to leave office in 2008.

He also announced that he's legalizing gay sex and gay marriage in Texas so that he and Tony Blair can live there after their marriage.

"Ya' gotta be married ta' have sex, ya' know, so we need a place where me and Tony can git legully married and live our lives as we see fit. I'm the decider. I decided that we'll live in Texas after the wedding. Texas is a Republic. That's where Republicans live."

There was an uproar by the Christian Right when they learned the news. They protested at the Crawford Ranch, burning crosses, firing automatic weapons in the air, and chanting, "Kill the fags! God told us to! Those damn queers are spreading AIDS. They'll kill all of us if we don't kill 'em first."

Gnarly Eric, a TheSpoof.com writer, said, "Well, at least they didn't yell, 'Kill the bestialitists,' so I guess I'm safe."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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