God, our father, made a sensational claim today that he is bigger than Jesus, our saviour.
The sensational claim was leaked in a memo from the office of St Peter.
The memo states: "OK so he healed a few blind men and fed 5000 people on 2 fishes and five loaves of Kingsmill, but who created the world? People say I created the world in 7 days but it was only 6, I went to watch Chelsea on the Sunday."
The memo, which was leaked on purpose, also said: "I tried to pay Judas to f**k him up, but he was just another floater f**king hanging on taking credit for other peoples graft."
A spokesman for heaven said: "There is an internal enquiry as to how this memo got out. We have our own ideas and when we find out who it was we will nail the b*****d to the cross."