CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Earth - Today, the Kryptonite Kid was kidnapped by The Spoof writer, Fergus McCarthy.
It is widely beleived, partially due to his own admission, that the name "Fergus McCarthy" is the pen name for evil villan Lex Luthor. It is unknown at this time what Lex intends to do with the Kryptonite Kid, but sources close to Luthor claim that he's either going after Superman, who just started writing for The Spoof, or Jalepenoman, defender of the faiths at The Spoof, who was recently hospitalized following the Holy War at The Spoof.
CalJennings was approached for his comments on the kidnapping. "I've dealt with Luthor before. We used to be good friends when we lived in Smallville. I'm not sure what's gotten into him, but he's stooped to a new low by kidnapping a child just to get at me. I'll get him or my name isn't Cal-el. Whoops! Did I just give away my secret identity?" remarked Cal-el... er... CalJennings.
CalJennings then disappeared and sources said some man in a red, blue, and yellow suit and a cape jumped out of The Spoof office window.
Keep reading The Spoof for updates on this late-breaking story.