Written by Lee Wyatt

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Tuesday, 24 April 2007

image for McCartney wins leg in divorce settlement
Heather planing her leg

Paul McCartney was today awarded Heather Mills' false leg as part of the divorce settlement.

McCartney, 79, was today said to be delighted with his award and immediately declared: "I'm off to some arse at an arse kicking contest".

Original reports stated that Mills asked for the couples plane, and a lady shave for her real leg. This request was denied by the judge at Penny Lane Court.

It was also revealed that McCartney had given Mills the prosthetic limb as a Christmas present. He denied reports that it was only a STOCKING FILLER.

Ms Mills was unavailable for comment but one witness outside the court stated "she hopped it when she seen reporters".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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