CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Undisclosed Location - Ernst Stavro Blofeld remarked today that Alberto Gonzales was bad for S.P.E.C.T.R.E.'s business. The problem seems to lie with all the illegal aliens that Gonzales helped cross the border.
"It's getting harder and harder to extort the U.S. government with all those illegal Mexicans crossing the border," said Blofeld. "I thought things were bad in the U.K. when James Bond was running around interfering with my plans, but now, when I try to extort the oil companies, they just hire more illegal aliens at cheaper and cheaper wages."
Blofeld said that in an effort to save S.P.E.C.T.R.E, he intended to build an earthquake machine on the U.S./Mexican border. "Let them try to swim across a fault," said Blofeld.