Written by matthatt
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Topics: Atlantis

Monday, 23 April 2007

image for Real reason for disappearance of Atlantis: Existential Angst!
Ruins? they didn't finish building them.

The legend of Atlantis, the country that disappeared under the sea, may be more than just a myth.

Research on the Greek island of Crete is investigating evidence that suggests Europe's earliest civilisation was either destroyed by a giant tsunami or they just got bored and left.

Life was so idyllic and easy; the people wanted for nothing. Their days filled with the search for a higher truth. A higher understanding and communication with the muses, the lifting of art and music above all base and menial things and of course along came boredom and with nothing to do comes self reflection, belly button gazing and eventually, neurosis.

That's right, ancient Crete was populated entirely by Woody Allen stereotypes, packed with issues and problems. They managed to elevate introspective analysis and self absorption to such a level that they just neglected to do stuff.

"The geo-archaeological deposits contain a number of distinct apathy signatures," says Dutch-born psychiatric-geologist Professor Hendrik Gibson of the Ben-Hur University of the Negev in Israel.

"Minoan building material, pottery and cups were mixed up with rounded beach pebbles and sea shells and microscopic marine fauna. The paintings on some of these pots shows scenes of a society in the grip of mass rumination and reluctance to do anything other than sit around pondering upon the big questions in life and wondering if your bum looks big in this toga"

"Some of them appear to have wondered off and the rest became so self obsessed and full of self doubt they couldn't form proper relationships and the population just petered out"

Evidence suggest that in the final stages a huge tidal wave wiped out what was left of the civilization, a piece of pottery found bore inscriptions referring to the incoming tsunami as it was happening. The pottery is decorated with huge waves and fleeing villagers, also a single word in ancient Cretan; "typical!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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