Written by Blind Fool -••-
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Topics: Public, Pit Bull

Wednesday, 21 January 2004

image for Rottweilers To Be Renamed "Pink Fuzzies"
Rottweilers to benefit from name change like Rocky, a New Yorkie (previously called Pit Bull) pictured above.

Following the success of the public relations campaign for the Pit Bull (Search) by renaming it the "New Yorkie," another notorious breed, the Rottweiler (Search) will be receiving a new designation, the "Pink Fuzzy."

Some have belittled the name change charging that Rottweilers are neither pink nor fuzzy (except for some artificially enhanced ones in San Francisco). But Pit Bulls are not native to New York either, so that really has nothing to do with it.

"It's all about image," said Larry Muzzlesnuffer, director of the New York City Animal Care and Control, the city's animal-welfare agency. "Their name has the negative word 'rot' in it and that has to go. It's about creating a feeling of peace and serenity-like aroma therapy, only aroma is not involved."

It is hoped that the name change will curb people's mental picture of Rottweilers so they'll be more tolerant and accepting of these killing machines. But these beasts aren't the only ones getting a new moniker, there are many animals who will be getting the autograph overhaul. Here is a partial list:

Dobermans to be called "Snuggles," German Shepherds to be called "Tickle Kisses," and Chihuahuas to be called "Southern Charmers." Other non-canine animals will be getting name changes as well: Black Widow spiders to be called "Love Pats," alligators to be called "Smileys," Cobras to be called "Smoochers,"scorpions to be called "Powder Puffs," and rats are to be called "Care Bears."

And this name change trend doesn't stop there. Human animals in our society who have a bad reputation will be getting some PR help as well. These include: Gang Bangers to be called "Rap Stars," Felons to be called "Over-Achievers," murderers to be called "Oopsie Innocents," Serial Killers to be called "Dependable Demisers," and terrorists are to be called, by the media, "Opposition Soldiers."

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