Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is probably best known for terrorizing America in the 1980s through his ties to the Soviet Union and his financing of terrorist activites against Western targets.
Yoko Ono is probably best known for terrorizing America and Great Britain by being the driving force behind the breakup of the Beatles.
In a stunning development, the CIA has revealed that their computers accidentally cross-referenced existing DNA samples of the two infamous individuals while moving some files around on their database, and came up with a perfect match.
Though no one had previously even dreamed up such a connection, historically speaking, it seems to make sense. The physical appearance is persuasive enough, as is the fact that the two have never been seen together. But analysis of some key quotes from the two notorious figures is simply chilling.
"American soldiers must be turned into lambs and eating them is tolerated." - Gadhafi, responding to the U.S. bombing raid on Tripoli, June 15, 1986.
"You can eat up all the clouds in the sky." - Ono discussing her early "Instructions" paintings in 1966.
The sheer insanity of these statements and their focus on consumption of things that are generally not considered edible speak volumes.
On hearing this evidence, U.S. President George W. Bush said, "that's all I need to hear," and immediately added Ono to the "Axis of Evil".