Vice President Dick Cheney was delighted to hear that the gunman at Virginia Tech was Korean. "NOW we have a good excuse to make a nucular first strike against Korea! Halliburton will make billions off of rebuilding Korea! All that stock I 'don't own' will GO through the ROOF! We'll kill ALL of those Korean suckers and make way for Republican Democracy in Korea."
When asked if this shooting was planned by his secret "Comittee for a New World Order" which meets at his "undisclosed location," Vice President Cheney simply said, "No comment."
This was the first time reporters were able to catch the Vice President smiling since he heard that Halliburton was being awarded the contract in Iraq.