Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 17 April 2007

image for Richard Gere Lets Shilpa Shetty Kiss Him - Hollywood Meets Bollywood Trouble
Shilpa Shetty

(Mumbai) Former Hollywood heart-throb Richard Gere has landed himself in hot water after being accused of "insulting Indian culture".

Gere, now 67, was in New Delhi on a Celebrity Big Brother Awareness campaign to promote the Channel 4 show amongst the Great Unwashed Peoples of this great and sticky land.

He was joined by Shilpa Shetty, the Indian Goddess of Gameshow Contestants, and when Shilpa leaned over to give Gere a peck on the cheek, he let her.

This was a direct contravention of Article 482 of the Indian Convention on Wife Beating which states that "any woman showing a man affection must be beaten to within an inch of her life".

Gere, who hasn't beaten a woman for some time, merely smiled and looked mildly embarrassed.

This sparked a riot in several cities, with lots of shouting and honking of horns, and effigies of Gere, and one of Jade Goody, were set alight.

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh set one alight himself, saying:

"Mr Richard Gere was once An Officer and a Gentleman, but today he was unable to resist the advances of a Pretty Woman. This is an insult to Indian culture."

It is still taboo in India to show affection in public, and to have sex in shop doorways, something that, in Britain or the USA, for instance, is commonplace.

The riots went on for several hours before the masses gathered in front of an enormous outdoor movie screen for a viewing of the latest Bollywood blockbuster, the four-hour Lamb Bhuna, which means Shop Doorway.

Mr Gere and Miss Shetty retired to The New Delhi Novotel where they spent a pleasant evening "holding hands".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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