Written by matthatt
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Monday, 16 April 2007

image for Richard Geres penis burnt by Indian!
Dicks' dick desires dowsing.

Angry crowds in several Indian cities burned effigies of Richard Geres penis, a day after he swept up Celebrity Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty in his arms and kissed her several times during an Aids-awareness event.

In Mumbai. Members of the right-wing Hindu nationalist group Shiv Sena set fire to "money shots" of Shetty and beat burning effigies of Geres stick.

Similar protests broke out in other cities, including Varanasi, Hinduism's holiest city, and in the northern town of Meerut, where crowds chanted "Down with Shilpa Shetty."

In a country where sex and public displays of affection are largely taboo, photographs of Gere doing the "do" with Shetty and pornographically kissing her on the cheek were printed on newspapers' front pages thus whipping the public in to an effigy burning frenzy.

A reporter for TheSpoof.com, on the scene, asked one protester what he was protesting about, he replied "what have you got? We just like burning effigies, it is what we do. Now leave me alone or I'll get my papier mache out and rustle up an effigy of you!" our reporter made his excuses and left the scene.

Gere and Shetty appeared at a press conference on Sunday in New Delhi to highlight the HIV and Aids epidemic among India's truck drivers, who aren't so bothered about public displays of affection.

In front of a cheering crowd, who were obviously effigy-less at the time, Gere kissed Shetty on the hand, and then kissed her on both cheeks before busting some wholly unpalatable moves on her Bollywood ass.

A press release from Richard Geres people said that the whole thing had been partly a publicity stunt as Gere is rolling out his own brand of safe sex products which will include condoms called Dick Geres' dick gear.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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