Written by TheRovingEye
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Topics: Music, Old People

Sunday, 15 April 2007

image for Man turns father into musical instrument

Czech Republic Gazette - In an effort to stave off the inevitable poverty of his family, a young man - Dimitri Ilyava (23) has devoted the last 2 years to perfecting a street act that is labelled as bizarre by some and genius by others.

"It came to me in a dream", says Dimitri, "as if God himself intended it to happen".

Seeing his father had developed severe arthritis and could no longer move his limbs very well, Dimitri - in a stroke of genius, held his stiff father aloft and began to literally "play" him like a wind instrument.

"The sound was not in tune at first", muses Dimitri, "but after some patient experiments with his limbs I was able to reach a good middle C".

Some have attacked the idea as repulsive, but upon hearing Dimitri's latest compositions, one old lady I spoke you claimed "it is perhaps a miracle, I do not know, but the sound of that man being played is like angel voices".

Dimitri is to apply to open a school of parental playing, called "The Illyava school for ancestral orchestration" - he aims to teach the practical and meditative arts of limb positioning, blowing exercises and other training.

More reports on this new art form will follow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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