Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 14 April 2007

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Kate has dumped the Prince for Cedric

There was a new development in the Prince William/Kate Middleton divorce row today, when it emerged that the intended Princess had been seeing another man. Whooaaaa...

Kate, who went to University in Fife - and we all know what students are like - dumped the Prince yesterday, saying that he looked too much like his father, Mr Charles Windsor, HRH the Prince of Jugears.

Now, though, it seems that she had been "playing the field", in what is sure to become known as the "Baggingoffgate" scandal.

A friend of both the Prince and his ex-bird has come forward to provide "evidence" for hungry newspaper journalists and other gossipmongering media.

Cedric Waggingtongue, an ex-fraternity buddy of Middleton's, and now a rich slacker and socialite, told anyone who would listen:

"I say! She's mine! I love her dearly. We're going to get married and play polo and other upper-class recreation forever!"

Buckingham Palace officials say they have never heard of Cedric, but, as a precaution, have made a special "Diana Spencer arrangement" with their regular hitman.

Prince William seems unconcerned about the affair. Today he was resting at home watching the Grand National with his new girlfriend, buxom Miss A.N. Other.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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