"They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no no no." - This may have been fine for singer and light entertainer, Amy Winehouse, but for God this proved to be his undoing.
Startling news just in that God is a complete pothead and has a $400 a day cocaine habit. Over the centuries, church attendances have fallen and with the increase in cults and new age crap, real religion has been off the menu for many people.
Satan said that God never really got over the death of his son and is still in denial about his sexuality. He thought he could handle it, but he seems to have gone off the rails.
Satan is currently appearing as Dr Frankenfurter in the Rocky Horror Show and also performing his own stand up in venues soon to be announced.
"Of all the deities, he has the least statues", said the Pope earlier this week. "He's a bit of a know-it-all. We didn't get on that well although he does have great legs and powerful arms."
Church leaders remain in conclave pray nightly for cold turkey. The Rehab centre, who wish to remain nameless told us that God is making good progress but don't expect any miracles.