Written by Jack Battler
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Topics: Racism, Furniture, nigger

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

image for Canadian couch charged with racism
Racist couch?

QUEBEC, CANADA--A rather large couch in Canada has been charged with racism and violation of hate speech laws after a label discovered on the bottom of a seat cushion was revealed to read the colour of the couch was "nigger brown."

When Doris Moore's 7-year-old daughter found the inappropriate label on the piece of furniture that she had just purchased Moore was shocked and annoyed.

"For me to buy couches and then the colour coming under that, nigger brown, I was floored," Moore said. "I took it personally and I can just bet you won't find no couches bought by white people saying 'honkey white' on the labels."

The couch was purchased at a store called Vaniak's Furniture For Discriminating Buyers, but the manager, Billy-Ro Kumarmarho, claims he was "shocked, absolutely shocked" about the label, and blamed the whole thing on the couch.

"I can't account for the personal beliefs and predjudices of every piece of furniture I sell," he said. "I don't accept any kind of offensive behavior while the furniture is in the store but once it is gone I cannot control what happens."

Moore has filed a complaint with the Ontario Human Rights Commission and wants the belligerent sofa censored for its behavior.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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