After a 3000+ mile swim Martin Strel is tired, hungry, and without a penis.
"I knew I'd lost my wallet around mile 1200, and my keys somewhere after 2200, but I only realized my penis had popped off when I got finished."
Although the cause of Strel's lost penis is unknown, his doctors do have some theories.
"He was in cold water for 65 DAYS! His penis probably experienced extreme, extreme shrinkage. It then most likely inverted itself into Martin's stombach only to catapult itself out away. I can't blame him, if I was a dong I'd have jumped ship too." said Dr. Garibaldi of Rio De Janeiro's leading hospital.
A search party has been notified to look for the penis. Upon finding the penis, they've been instructed to show him pictures of Angelina Jolie, and to tell him that he is easily the biggest penis they've ever seen.
"How else is he supposed to recover?" says Garibaldi.
However, there are some that think he may have escaped on balls, and could be anywhere in the Rio area. Police have posted signs on buildings with an artists rendering of what the penis might look like.
"Until then, I posted a classified, and put up an ad on Match.com. 'Man seeking loveable, smart penis with a sense of humor who loves long walks on the beach. Must like girls... and my right hand. Ideally very huge...' I think it'll turn out good."