Written by Moose&Squirell
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Wednesday, 11 April 2007

image for Club Masturbation Debuts In Japan
A Japanese night club focused on rubbing one out

SHIBUYA, JAPAN-(KOGYARUGO DIGEST) Japan's answer to the spread of Aids has been solved by a new concept in social night club scene technology. Club Masturbation is a place where contraceptives are not needed or much less called for.

The taboo of playing with your privates are welcomed & encouraged. "Firing Up!" is the rebel yell heard when several patrons clamp on to their rocket ships and prepare for blast-off, followed by a cigarette.

Ms. Enjoya Meat is the creator and hands on owner of the club. In an interview by KD, she reveals the sudden popularity of group pud-pounding at her club. "Many young men & women are beginning to tire of the regular ever-changing "fashion trendy "attitudes of the regular Tokyo night clubs.

They are looking for a way to meet new people and share some moments of intimacy and sexual contact without the anxiety that transmitted diseases may bring".

Ms. Meat continues, "Club Masturbation offers patrons a chance to relax while listening to music, and have a hand in conducting their own organ-ic orchestra. The 1812 overture is a great tune to listen to as you & the music both come to a smashing climax...complete with cannons".

"These holed up sexual obsessions don't have to be beaten out of our paying customers. So if Saturday night are boring at your house, come over to the club and clean your rifle here".

Whether you are a cave explorer feeling out the grotto of her subterranean chamber or a city worker patching up a pothole, you can forget about other fads that have come and gone. Kogal, Keeters, Ganguro or even Enjo Kôsai, We have pried open Pandora's box of pleasure & believe that this is the beat of the future in wanker dynamics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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