Written by Janet Hedges
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Monday, 9 April 2007

image for Faye Turney Forced to Watch "Videos"
Luckily the experience hasn't put Turney off sailing; she picked up this little number yesterday.

Millionaire sailor Faye Turney has revealed how she was separated from her colleagues, forced to strip to her panties and stockings and sleep on a small King Charles Spaniel during her "nightmare in Tehran".

Turney, who is back in Britain making money and signing media deals, said the silence of her solitary confinement was broken only by the arrival of a box of 'Are You Being Served' videos and a small radio-cassette player. The wealthy sailor also confessed, "I was given a mobile phone, but could not remember the international dialling code for the UK".

Leading seaman Faye, 25, tells TheSpoof.com in chilling detail of her plans to purchase a new house, car and a holiday of a lifetime in France. She has also announced she is to set up a Faye Turney Museum and Giftshop in her home county of Shropshire. The museum will feature the now infamous pink sweater she wore on her release from her evil Iranian captors.

While Faye was wondering in her dimly lit cell if she would ever see her three-year-old daughter again, her comrades were being lined up against a wall and forced to play "I spy" with Iranian guards. Some soldiers were even forced to eat tinned food and drink non- alcoholic beverages.

Faye's wise decision to sell her story finally exposes the horrible truth behind Iran's bid to fool the world into thinking the release of the 15 was a "Chocolate Easter egg Gift " to Britain. Turney has vowed "never to return to Iran".

She confirms the suspicions of those who watched the dire TV broadcast that the hostages' smiles and confessions were simply a sham, "I had no makeup, autocue I did not even have a dressing room to revise my lines", said a weeping Turney.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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