Bad Doberan, Baltic Sea - (Rotters): One of the chief attractions to lure President George W Bush to Germany's hosting of the G8 Summit this year has been revealed as a historic connection to the Fuherer.
Bad Doberan on the Baltic Sea awarded Adolf Hitler with honorary citizenship over seventy years ago and has been unhurried ever since about removing his name from its municipal Roll of Honor.
"It's the only thing apart from our pickled herrings to have made us famous," sobbed the Mayor as local councillors ordered him to finally erase the Fuherer's name and official portraits from municipal landmarks such as the town hall, council offices, Spa baths, eight public schools, theater, art gallery, church, public library, hospital, recreational park, cemetary, airport, cinema, shopping center, law court, police station, resort hotel, post office, bank and all-important war memorial.
In July world leaders of the Group of Eight Civilized (sic) Nations will surrender their sense of the bizarre and spend two days in the town's Heiligendamm district where they will pow-wow, feast on the local roll mops and sauerkraut and admire hostess Chancellor Angela Merkel's porky little ankles.
"I was always told to leave the Fuherer memorials intact," the Mayor complained, "in case Mr Bush and his brother Mr Blair were coming here for nostalgic family reasons and not just for the seafood."
Vladimir Putin is 69.