Written by Tom Taylor
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Sunday, 1 April 2007

image for David Hicks Escapes Guantanamo, Finally Heading Home to be Imprisoned
Home at last

David Hicks, the Australian man held at Guantanamo Bay for five years without charge, where he was allegedly subjected to torture, is finally being released.

Hicks will return to his own country where, finally, the government that wouldn't fight for his rights for fear of upsetting America, can imprison him themselves.

Despite the fact that David Hicks has pleaded guilty to a crime that was invented after he was imprisoned, both the US and Australian governments are, stupidly, calling it a victory in the war on terror.

According to Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, "This is a great day for Australia. England had all of their citizens released years ago, after which it was found that they were all innocent of their charges. But fortunately, America has managed to create a crime to charge our citizen with. This means that he can come home and stare at Australian Prison Bars." He then added, "I love George Bush, I would have his babies."

Of course the government is probably hoping that Australian citizens will now forget about the whole thing and not look at the Guantanamo Bays of their own on various islands around Australia. On these islands many David Hicks' are held without charge, their crime; fleeing war and persecution and trying to enter Australia.

When asked about this, Howard replied "Free Candy for everyone who votes for me." He then handed the reporter a balloon.

- Tom Taylor

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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