A-Team supreme badass B A Barraccus, AKA Mr T, is to be made a saint by the Vatican in a special ceremony tomorrow.
Cardinal Jerry Fudgepacker said, "In all events concerning the A-Team, B A never killed anyone, even with all the bullets flying around. I think it was his miraculous powers that saved anyone from serious injury."
"In addition to this, Mr T gave good advice to young impressionable children and encouraged the drinking of milk, a healthy substitiute for Coca Cola. I think his work for the disadvantaged in society should be rewarded."
Mr T said of the honour, "I think its great sukka, real great. I can hopefully get a nice halo to go wit' all my otha gold. Ain't no damn foo now am I?"
The burly star has some truly great deeds to his name, including saving a church from demolition, rescuing Mexican children and putting up with Boy George. He could also fashion superb fighting machines out of a van, a few dustbin lids, fencing and a JCB bucket.
Mr T will travel to the Vatican City for the ceremony but is going by boat. "I ain't gettin' on no plane foo!" he said.