Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 28 March 2007

image for Britain/Iran Nitpicking Row Escalates To Serious Level
Little ship captures big ship

The 15 Royal Navy personnel captured by Iranian pirates last week look like being inducted into the crew of the ship that they are being held hostage on.

A diplomatic stand-off between Britain and Iran has escalated to the Code Reddish-Orange Serious Level, which normally means trouble.

Originally, Britain said that the HMS Spyship, on which the sailors were crew members, was sailing well inside Iraqi waters, but Iran argued that they were 15 miles inside their own Iranian waters, which are slightly more brownish in colour.

Britain countered that the Spyship was, in fact, 1500m inside Iraqi territory, but again Iran said this was not the case, and that the vessel was 500m inside their own area of authority.

Finally, the British government got involved, and came back with a new offer that the ship was actually 2m inside friendly waters, and that if Iran didn't release Her Majesty's sailors immediately, Britain would get ever so upset.
This angered the Iranians; they maintained that the Spyship was at least 14cm on their property when captured, and that if Britain didn't say sorry, they would exact revenge come the glorious day.

Rear Admiral Richard Cobbold, who isn't a Rear Admiral in the homosexual sense of the word, said Britain was using the GPS tracking system which could pinpoint a ship's position to within the length of a dog's bollock hair, and that the Spyship was almost certainly in Kuwaiti waters.

"Either that, or else the captain must have fallen asleep at the wheel", he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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