Written by The Watch Dog
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Friday, 23 March 2007

image for March 23, 1944 --Today In History. House Cuts Funding To American Troops In Europe.
"This is a very dark day in the history of freedom."

In a shocking setback to the war plans of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, a rebellious House of Representatives passed the Pelosi-Bormann bill that will cut off all funds to American troops in Europe by September 1, 1944.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Black Shirts: Democratic Social Republic of California), obviously was pleased by her triumph of the will despite the closeness of the vote: 212-211. "We had to bring the troops home. President Roosevelt didn't have a plan to win the war so we gave FDR a deadline. Beat Hitler by September 1, 1944 or you will lose all funding for the war."

"It wasn't easy," continued Ms. Pelosi, "But it was worth it. We didn't have the votes so we had to buy some: $25,000,000 for a one-mile four lane highway in California; $17,000,000 for the Armadillo Museum in Del Rio, Texas; $15,000,000 for research into safer condoms; $10,500,000 for the Museum of Left-Handed Hopis in New Mexico; $18,650,000 to buy Black Shirts for patriotic Americans who are too poor to buy them; and, $28,500,000 to paint the Golden Gate Bridge canary yellow. These projects are expensive but are better investments in our future than wasting money in a futile fight to defeat Hitler."

Another major provisions of the bill includes cutting off all military aid to England and Russia.

Speaker Pelosi pointed out that humanitarian aide will continue. "We will ensure that England and Russia will receive sufficient white flags to end this terrible war favorably."

President Roosevelt's staff refused to answer any questions.

Prime Minister Winston Churchill was quoted as saying "This is a very dark night in the history of freedom. Never before has the American beacon of liberty shown as dimly into the night of tyranny as it does tonight."

We decided to defer our interview of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General George Marshall. Our reporter said General Marshall had his head cradled in his arms and was sobbing softly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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