MEXICO CITY, MEXICO--(SPAHNISHNOOSE) More than $200 million in U.S. cash from rug producers in one of the cities glitziest colonias was found today making it the biggest cash bust in the countries history, except for yesterdays bust which was five dollars lower. The crackdown is part of an illegal rug trade between Asia, Iraq, Iran, Cairo, Mexico and the Jewnighted States.
All seven were arrested at a Spanish Villa in the Chile con Carne prefecture in Taco Bell City, Cheewawa. Three of those taken away were Chinese Nationals. This bunch was part of a hugher rug-trafficking group which imports fine threads laced with polyester-cotton fiber for illegal carpet factories in China & India which trucks in these items destined for Mexico "Super Looms", the Federalies add, "These magic carpets are smuggled into the U.S. where they are sold on the "Negro" market.
The investigation into this capture started in October, when crooked police in Tijuana seized 50 tons of hemp, a key ingredient which makes the rug fly & gets you high, at Port Burrito located on the western Spacific Coast. Also implicated was one of Mexico's largest registered importer of Knick Knacks & Paddy Whacks, The Paddy Whack & Knick Knack company of Mexico, Ink, L.L.C.
Presidente Fillup DeCaldron applauded the seizure as a big deal in Mexico's war on rug traffickers, who have sent many legitimate carpet & linoleum dealers out of business. "We and a small number of my goon squad are working in a wall-to-wall sweep to rid our country of these hair balls which use to be swept under the carpet of injustice".
The Mexican Attorney General's office released this statement, "Our experts are still annalizing the millions recovered for counterfeits, but, the bills appear to all be phony." It took three moving trucks, guarded by a 25 burro caravan, to take the money to its headquarters. One truck lost its' way and still can't be located. Oh well...its 2:00 p.m., time for a siesta." A Moose&Squirell Exclusive.