Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 12 March 2007

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Give as generously as you feel the stars do...

Red Nose Day celebrations, scheduled for this Friday, 16th March 2007, could be under threat, due to complaints from people with big red noses.

One man, identified only as 'Rudolf' from Pudsey, has threatened legal action against the BBC, which has screened the event live for the last 100 years.

Experts say it is highly embarrassing for people with physical disabilities, facial deformities and nasal oddities, to have others laugh at their afflictions, not to mention have them used as a National Icon on television.

Dr Beak, of Holby City Bignose Hospital, said:

"Red Nose Day, for most people, is an excellent idea, and an entertaining way to help unfortunate and underprivileged children, but for those with huge konks, it is a time to hide in a cupboard."

A friend of 'Rudolf', Donna Blitsen, told reporters:

"He's an idiot, and fully looks like one with that enormous schnozzel."

Red Nose organiser, Eurovision Song Contest owner, and Radio 2 bore Egor Wantry (anagram), said on his official webshite:

"Oh bi Jesus! Oh begorra! Is that some p'tatus growin' out of moi ears? Oi thought oi saw a leprachaun."

On an 'ability-to-pay' basis, please give as generously as Terry Wogan does.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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