Written by aningeniousname
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 11 March 2007

image for Easter island: Incest eggs orgy shame

Easter island- This small isolated outcrop of rock stranded in the vast blue desert of the pacific ocean is known the world over for its mysterious giant stone heads and its barren treeless hills.

A little known fact, that does not appear in any offical guide to the island, is the strange easter ritual of the inhabitants that until recently was a closely guarded secret.

The ancient rite dates back to long before the discovery of the island by Dutch seaman, coincidently on easter sunday, in 1722.
As the land thirsty Dutch struggled ashore and up onto the island's only beach they were shocked to find themselves in the middle of an astonishing secret rite.

For centuries the islanders had performed the ancient rite of the "pook ya nui" which was a way for the islanders to deflower the islands virgins and appease their wrathful penis shaped god.

The ceremony called for the great grandfathers of the soon to be sluttified virgins to eat nothing but the eggs of the Cadbury bird, for a period of 17 days, and for the then half starved octogenarians to spend the next 17 days devirginising the grateful girls.

The climax of the ceremony was achieved when the exhausted elders dropped to the floor and died so passing on the torch of life and their genes to the next generation.
After settling the islands the Dutch, and then the Spanish, tried in vain to stamp out this vile pagan custom but only succeeded in driving it deep underground.

The Chilean Government became so worried by the strange practice that ever since easter 1978 they have deployed special army units, trained in the art of spotting geriatric hope, to the islands to try to quell this most shocking of practices.

But local traditions die hard and the ceremonies now take place deep underground in what are known as "virgin holes".
The authorities are powerless to stop this easter debacle and can only try to make sure that their troops get to these virgin holes before the egg driven loins of easter island's oldest residents.

Make aningeniousname's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 2?

1 20 6 11

Go to top