It is being reported that sexy female aliens have begun attacking Japan. The creatures are blue, with black hair, and wear a black sports bra and a dirty, lacy, yellow thong.
If you are expecting a date with a woman who has these characteristics, world leaders are advising you cancel.
The aliens have killed many people in Japan, and they are headed for the U.S. and London. Why they're attacking just London, but the whole of America, we're not sure.
Here are ways to tell if they are a "volupitan", as they call 'em:
- They have purple spit
- They are total sluts
- They speak like an Indian speaking backwards
- They can't sing
- They always say "You're Mine!"
- If she wears the horrible clothes the aliens wear
- If they never heard of Paris Hilton, only Malawika Booloomyshrafa
- If they eat fried squirrel and and cat bones
- If they read "The Volupitan Times" as a newspaper
So look out for these characteristics, unless you're suicidal.