An Iraqi air passenger was detained at Los Angeles International Airport yesterday when he was discovered to have a magnet inserted up his rectum. Suspicion was first aroused when was seen standing in the boarding queue with a chain of paper clips dangling from the back of his trousers.
The man was escorted to a secure area where he had to be restrained by sticking him on the fridge door with a note to get more milk.
The man's lawyer at first claimed his client was trying out an alternative therapy for motion sickness. However, in a statement to the FBI Fadhel al-Maliki claimed, "I've always suffered from solenoids. I blame airline food."