The lunar eclipse on Sunday the 4th of March 2007 has marked a comeback in the numbers of werewolves across the world, cosmologist and naturalist Michael Bull claimed today.
"There's definitely been a marked increase. Werewolves are out on the rampage now. It's only a matter of time before we hit a pandemic," Bull claims in a groundbreaking new report published by HM Government.
The report continues to give advice to people to stay indoors, barring all entrances until the immediate crisis is over, and to stock up on canned food during the period of a full moon.
But some hastened to disagree. Racist Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, announced soon after the report's publication "it's rubbish. If werewolves were on the rise, we'd know about it. They'd be out of the country by now, the furry bastards, with their strange food and weird culture."
US sources, as ever, declined to comment.