Written by aningeniousname
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Sunday, 4 March 2007

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The world's biggest cock.

Dublin- Just outside the bustling modern city of Dublin nestled in a quiet shady corner of the emerald isle lays the tiny, almost forgotten, hamlet of Dunfinkin.

The village has never been known for anything more than the curious fact that Dunfinkin is the only place in the world where incest is still legal; which gives the place a warm old fashioned family feel sadly lacking in the rest of the modern world.
But things are about to change for Dunfinkin and all because of one man's enormous cock.

Seamus O'Toole a local farm worker with a passion for cocks has just had a visit from the Guiness book of world records to verify his claim to have the worlds biggest cock.
Mr O'Toole's cock is of the Old speckled red variety, and stands an impressive 4ft 6 inches tall and weighs in at almost eight stone.

The proud owner told me of his love of cocks, and how he managed to develop the monster that has been called the ninth wonder of the world
"Well I was always a huge fan of cocks ever since my dad used to take me out the back of our henhouse, and show me how big he had managed to get his prize cock. It was from that moment on that I swore to myself that when I got older I'd grow a cock bigger and fatter then his proud beast."

When asked how he had managed to get his cock to such enormous dimensions; Mr O'Toole refused to go into detail but did say
"Its a combination of high protein foods and constant massage but thats just the tip of the iceberg. I've seen other cock fanciers in the village square massaging their skinny little cocks and hoping to get them somewhere near the size of mine; but they soon give up when they see me and my magnificent beast come strutting into the village."

If Mr O'Toole's cock is verified, by Guiness, as being the worlds biggest it could mean a lucrative world tour is on the cards for Mr O'Toole and his huge red beast.

Mr O'Toole said "I think a world tour would be nice. People around the world deserve to see my massive cock, and to tell the truth it's getting a bit restless cooped up in this tiny village.
Only last week I went out without properly securing it and was horrified to come back home and find my huge cock out in the back field worrying sheep."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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