Written by aningeniousname
Print this

Thursday, 1 March 2007

image for IRA : We were better than Al Qa'ida
An IRA volunteer.

Belfast- Today on the steps of the historic Stormont castle, seat of the Northern Ireland assembly, Gerry Adams leader of the IRA's political wing, Sinn Fein, declared from his beard to waiting reporters that he had an important communique from the IRA'S military council to read.

Mr Adams took a slightly crumpled piece of paper from his slightly crumpled 1970's tweed jacket and read the following statement.

"The Irish Republican Army's military council would like it to be known that contary to popular opinion the so called terrorist organization now engaged in armed struggle against neo-colonial American imperialism is quite crap.
The IRA in their twenty years of glorious struggle against a similar imperialist enemy achieved a kill rate of far more than the measley 3000 that this "terrorist" force have so far claimed.
Furthermore we couldn't rely on financial support from oil rich sheiks; we had to trawl New York's Irish bars and river dance for quarters to fund our glorious atrocities.
In closing we would like to state categorically if we had wanted to we could have flown planes into buildings but we didn't want to cos it's a bit crap."

Mr Adams finished reading the statement and refused to take questions but did say that Sinn Fein would be releasing a video of the IRA's greatest hits, and hoped to have them in shops across the United States in time for St Patricks day.

Make aningeniousname's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 2?

2 12 8 24
49 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more