Last week in County Galway in Ireland, Sister Bernadette was having her morning shit. Her doctor had instructed her to check for worms, so she carefully examined her stools before flushing. But instead of worms, she saw the shape of the Virgin Mary's head floating in the bowl.
She said, "Oh, Jesus be praised! Oi'm only a humble Oirish nun. To tink dat the Virgin Mary herself was born from my anus is almost too much. It's loik the immaculate conception, cos Oi've never let a priest use dat orifice. We're all expecting de second coming now."
Catholic pilgrims from all over the world are beginning to visit the convent to see for themselves the apparition in the dung. As a result, the toilet has not been flushed for a week and nuns are having to go behind a bush outside.
The Pope has been contacted and is expected to confirm the miracle in the next few days.